jMcJohnson

These are hella stupid, but be honest, aren’t you curious what my top three favorite drinks are?! Aren’t you?!

1) Favorite hobby?
I really have no hobbies. I also don’t collect anything. I suck.

(2) How do you feel about your ex?
Seeing as my last ex-boyfriend was 9+ years ago, I barely remember them. I hope they are happy and well, wherever they are.

(3) Do you own guns?
Hell no. But my dad has like, 30. Does that count?

(4) What flavor do you add to your drink at sonic?
Cherry and vanilla in diet Dr. Pepper. Or a diet cherry limeade. Tasty.

(5) Do you get nervous before doctor appointments?
No. I love doctors and hospitals. For real, I do.

(6) What do you think of hot dogs?
Yum. Especially if I am at a baseball game and they are covered in mustard and sauerkraut.

(7) Favorite Christmas song?
This is a tough one, I have many…let’s say “Merry Christmas Darling” by the Carpenters.

(8) What do you prefer to drink in the morning?
Usually nothing. I like coffee, just not in the AM, and I like apple juice but I rarely buy it.

(9) Can you do push ups?
Hmm…probably. But I won’t.

(10) Can you do a chin up?
I’m thinking no.

(11) What’s your favorite piece of jewelry?
I am severely jewelry phobic, but I love love love my wedding ring. Usually I put on jewelry and think it looks weird and then I take it all off except for my ring.

(12) Do you like blue cheese?
Yes, do you?

(13) Ever been in a car wreck?
Yes. In high school, I totaled my Pontiac Fiero (jealous?)

(14) Do you have ADD?
No, just occasional bouts of squirrel-itis.

(15) What’s one trait that you hate about yourself?
Yikes. I try not to hate anything about myself…but I wish I was not such a control freak. I’m working on it.

(16) Middle name?
Nicole. Blah. I never even think about having that as part of my name. I know several Nicole’s and I never think “Hey, that’s my middle name.” I wish it was more exciting like Sassafras or something.

(17) Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
1. I kind of have to pee. 2. I hope we can have barbeque for dinner. 3. I hope it does not storm and thwart my barbeque plans.

(18) Name 3 things you bought yesterday?
Three of the same shirt from the Gap. They were on super comfortable, on clearance, came in 3 colors and…I just like to buy multiples of stuff that fits well. Just like your Aunt Ruth.

(19) Name 3 drinks you regularly drink?
1. Iced Tea 2. Water 3. Crystal Light fruit punch (runner up: Caffeine Free Diet Pepsi). I am trying to ditch soda, but that has not gone well this week, as I am away from home and cannot make the tea or crystal light.

(20) Current worry?
Nada.

(21) Current hate right now?
My freaking plantar warts. What will kill them?! I have tried everything!! I want to get a pedicure sometime in the next 10 years!

(23) How did you bring in the New Year?
At a small slightly awkward party at my apartment.

(24) Where would you like to be right now?
Right where I am at. In FL doing Lovewell.

(25) Do you like bok choy?
I’m not positive, but I think I do.

(26) Do you own slippers?
Multiple pairs. I am a big fan of clean feet, and slippers are helpful with that. I just bought some new ones that look like dogs. I also convinced Ryan that slippers are awesome, and now he has a pair. Go slippers!

(27) What shirt are you wearing?
It’s a long shirt-dress type thing that I should have pants on underneath, but as I am alone, I am pants-less.

(28) Do you like sleeping on satin sheets?
Only when I am taking a break from filming a porno.

(29) Can you whistle?
Yes, in fact I just learned a new way to whistle yesterday, which I have almost mastered.

(31) Would you be a pirate?
Yes. Duh.

(32) What songs do you sing in the shower?
Showtunes and songs I make up.

(33) Favorite girl’s name?
Who the hell has favorite names? I’ll go with Jamie. That’s a good one.

(34) Favorite boy’s name? Again with the names?

(35) What is in your pocket?
No pants=no pockets

(36) Last thing that made you laugh?
Hmm…can’t remember the very last thing, but I did just think of Ryan and Erin talking about playing “ChopDicks” on the piano, and that’s pretty funny.

(37) Best bed sheets as a child?
My Peanuts sheets. The pillowcase had a Wild West scene on one side and a Midieval scene on the other side, both starring Snoopy.

(38) Worst injury you ever had?
I guess falling off a skateboard and face planting on the sidewalk in third grade. I have been blessed with a fairly injury-free life thus far.

(39) Do you like where you live?
Yes I love it, however if I had more friends there it would be 100 times better.

(40) How many TVs do you have in your house?
Two.

(41) Who is your loudest friend?
Damn, I know some loud-ass people…I guess maybe Shannon? Only because I see her every day right now? I heart her loudness though, so this is a compliment. It goes hand in hand with her funny-ness and her exuberance.

(42) How many dogs do you have?
Currently, zero, but I want two and already have their names picked out.

(43) Does someone have a crush on you?
That would be awesome, but probably no.

(44) Favorite book?
Ever? Hmmm…of all time probably To Kill A Mockingbird.

(46) What is your favorite candy?
Chocolate covered peanuts. Are those technically candy? I also like chocolate covered fruit. Again, possibly not a candy.

(47) Favorite Sports Team?
Jayhawk basketball? Other than that I pretty much like whomever Ryan roots for, but I really hold no real interest in sports.

(48) What song do you want played at your funeral?
Into The Mystic by Van Morrison. But I would prefer to not die. Is that an option?

(49) What were you doing at 12 AM last night?
Drinking Miller Lite and gabbing with the girls.

(50) What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up today?
I wonder if I can catch a nap today?

I am in Florida! Doing Lovewell. It is fun, challenging and fantastic as usual. More to come about that soon.

I got two great emails today that made me so happy. Sometimes things are so right on, it is spooky. Today Misty sent me a link to this amazing print that is at http://jenlemen.com/blog/. It is in the entry for 6/16. I love it so much! Her whole site is full of creative, inspiring stuff. (Also Misty herself is filled with creative, inspiring stuff )

Also, I got this in my inbox today:

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): We’re halfway through 2008. It’s time to take
inventory of how well you’re capitalizing on this year’s unique
opportunities. So let me ask you, Leo: Have you been redefining your
relationship to your job so that it better serves the *real* you? Are you
invoking all your imaginative powers so as to get into a position in which
you will love work more than ever before? I hope you’ve been doing those
things, because it means you’ve primed yourself to attract lots of help in
accomplishing those changes.

Wow. Totally appropriate for where I’m at right now.

More awesomely inspiring horoscopes at www.freewillastrology.com

Joe so graciously joined me in Tulsa for my cousin’s wedding this last weekend. We drank out of giant pink and blue water jugs. We named Joe’s Garmin (Angela). We ate lunch at a Wendy’s in Coffeyville Kansas. Here’s what else we did.

Finally! A semi-good hair day! This lasted approximately 3.4 seconds after stepping outside into the Tulsa tornadic level winds. But this is proof that it DID exist.

The church where my cousin got married.

Joe as he realizes he is attending an actual wedding.

Have you heard of Melanie? She sang that “Brand New Pair of Rollerskates” song back in the 70’s. Joe was trying to re-create her weird album cover in this shot. Sorry Melanie.

Pistol Pete made a special appearance at the reception…and he shot a cap gun and scared the crap out of everyone as they ate their tiny sandwiches!

The couple had giant sparklers to run through as they exited the reception…really cool.

Sparklers! Burning us a little!

Best of luck, you crazy kids…

They left the next day for Jamaica for seven days…we drove back to Kansas City on a two lane highway for four hours.

Score!

via www.buzzfeed.com

Hair Update: I have decided to do…NOTHING! Upon further consideration (and reviewing the votes) I have decided to proceed with some deep conditioning and tolerate my roots for now. Coloring it is only going to dry it’s already crispy exterior even more. So, I bought some moisturizing shampoo, and that’s the end of this month’s hair drama. BORING! Sorry to let you all down…

I am trying to pack, tie up all my little loose ends here at home, finish all my major work projects, download a ton of music and not freak out before I leave for Florida for three weeks on Friday…wish me luck!

Two minor health issues this week:
1. At my last checkup I had blood work done and my potassium was low. The doctor prescribed (seriously) at LEAST one banana a day. After the first few days, I was done with bananas. I wondered what potassium actually did in the body, so I looked it up and found it is really only important if you like your heart to continue beating (I’m a fan) so, back to bananas. I was rechecked on Monday and I am back in the “normal” potassium range! Aww, yeah.
2. On Sunday morning I felt a hard bump under my armpit. Three hours later, as I was busy planning my funeral, I had the thought that during my upcoming potassium test, I could ask the doctor to check it out and possibly save myself an ulcer. I asked, the doctor looked, and it turns out I have…a blocked sweat gland (HOT)! And she prescribed antibiotics…for my blocked sweat gland. I may tough it out. I feel like I may be a bit young to have to take medicine for my glands (blocked or otherwise).

We saw James Taylor and his Band of Legends at Starlight on Monday and it was pretty good. It was about half covers and half originals. I would have liked all originals better, but hey, a JT concert is good even if he’s singing the encyclopedia, so I am not complaining. Also, it was a beautiful night; lots of stars, cool breeze and I even got a lemonade (seriously, I love lemonade). On the way home in the car, Ryan and I played every other song we wished we could have heard at the concert. Pretty much a perfect night.

Joe accompanied me to Tulsa, Oklahoma this weekend for my cousin’s wedding, and I have some really sweet pictures to share as soon as I get them uploaded…seriously, you won’t be disappointed. Let’s just say we may or may not have taken a picture with an NCAA mascot…

Ordering feta and (hopefully salmonella-free) roma tomato pizza on Thursday for my goodbye party at work…all is well with the world

Ryan and I have been married four years today.

My goal is to take (at least) the next four a little more slowly, to pick and nag and worry less and just “be” together more. To forget and forgive faster, to appreciate and acknowledge more.

Our marriage has been not unlike that pair of shoes you had to have as a kid, even though they were two sizes too big. At first they are too roomy in the toe, and slip and slide around; they are not totally comfortable and they give you blisters once in a while. But your kid-self loves them. Loves the way they look and how they make you feel when you have them on-like everything is all at once exciting and possible and sprinkled with adventure. You have a feeling that as soon as a little time has passed, and you grow into them, you’ll be able to run faster, farther and more easily than you ever did before you first put them on.

So, you decide to be patient. And you get to work.

You stuff a little tissue into the front, and soon enough your toes feel more stable. You put on a band aid to help the blisters go away. You start to wear thicker socks, because you learn that that helps. You try new and different methods to make them more comfortable; some work, some don’t, until finally, one day they are a perfect fit. They are a little more scuffed than when you first bought them, but the feeling you had when you first spotted them in the store is the same. In fact it’s better. Because now they mean more. You grew into them and did the work to heal the hurt-y parts and now you can’t imagine ever being without them.

Such is married life.

Here’s hoping we all are lucky enough to find our perfect fit.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO BILLY OCEAN?!

So, every few months or so I have this panic set in…what the hell is happening with my hair? For the record, it is currently long (middle of my back.) It is brown (au naturel) at the roots, kind of a reddish-brownish-blonde everywhere else, and has random gray hairs popping out all over. It is also simultaneously curly in places, wavy in places, and stick straight in other places. It is dry at the ends and gets oily at the roots (charming, eh?)

I only wash it 2 to 3 times a week, as long-haired people are instructed.

So. First off, I looooove to flat-iron my hair or get blow outs. It looks good, it feels good, and they last at least 3-4 days. However, they KILL my hair. When I wash it after a blowout, it returns to it’s natural state looking totally beat down by the heat. It won’t go right back to being curly. My hair looks depressed.

After seeing it like that, I can’t help it. I start to feel sorry for my hair.

Most recently, I have decided that I am going to commit to having good looking, curly hair, and stop flat-ironing it into oblivion. I bought this stuff, and it really worked pretty well. My hair looked curly and delicious. HOWEVER-this curly goddess state was dependent upon dedicating 45 minutes or so to it’s care, and me washing my hair in the morning, and practically every day. This is unacceptable for a couple reasons. First, my hair will be a puff ball if I wash it daily but when I sleep on it in it’s curliness (post washing), it turns in to a mashed puff ball in the AM.

UNACCEPTABLE.

Second, if you know me, you know that I like to shower at night. It signals to my brain that it is bedtime. Come hell or high water or 18 beers, I am showering; even if it is 4 AM. I am the Pavlov’s dog of night showering. I shower=I get tired. Also, I refuse to shower twice a day. That’s just crazy talk. Needless to say, my plan to be curly every day had a kink in it (har har).

So now, I have moved on. I am trying to accept my hair in it’s more natural state…but I really want to color it! I have had so many bad home hair color experiences (and a few successful ones.) Here’s the color I’m going for:

Sweet, lovely, beautiful chocolate brown. Sort of my natural color (actually mine is more mouse turd brown, but this sounds nicer.)

So the question is: Do I save mucho bucks and do it at home or spend the cash and do it at my salon? I have already bought two (returnable) boxes of Natural Instincts (semi permanent, thus easier on my hair; questionable results) in “Tweed”. Total cost: $15. Or I can go to my hairdresser and spend about $50 and get permanent color put in (harder on my hair, pretty much guaranteed results.)

It’s in your hands now. Be gentle.

If you can believe it, this was taken like, 10 minutes after we arrived at the bar…holy shit!

Ryan and our nephew…yes it’s a baby…in a bar! It’s cool though, he only drank beer, so he never really got DRUNK-drunk, only buzzed. And Ryan has glitter on his head from motor-boating a stripper earlier in the evening. And it was only 7:45.

And I’m kidding!

It was 8:15.

I’m just not happy until I use the F word on someone’s birthday.

It’s the clean F word because Carrie’s grandma was there. Although, she loves the F word…if by F word you mean Fiber.

The geniuses at the Salina Wal-Mart bakery pulled out ALL the stops for this work of art. Seriously, it seems that this was how the conversation must have went:

Me: Hi, I need a cake, something for a boy and a girl birthday. They’re adults but I want something kind of kid-like and funny. Can you do pink and a blue unicorns?

Thelma Sue: No, but I do have some shitty plastic animals that I can put on a sheet cake. Then I will decorate it with pink and blue spray frosting. Did I mention I have severe Parkinson’s?

Me: That sounds OKAY, but can you make sure it’s fugly as hell? I mean, I want there to be NO doubt that that you did not spend more than four to six minutes decorating this while you were on your cell phone, reading a magazine and maybe smoking a cigarette.

Thelma Sue: You got it, sweet cheeks !

Thus explains the cake.

Maybe the best photo of Lance Gilchrist ever taken, ever.

Finally, Ryan “gets me” now that we are both 30.