Dick Things I Like to Do
1. I really enjoy pointing out misspellings and grammar errors. Both out loud and silently to myself. Pretty much any printed material I see the first thing I do is spell/grammar-check it. It’s really quite surprising how many mistakes you can find on material that (you would think) would be proofed. Then I chuckle to myself, like a complete dick.
2. In the grocery store (or any store in general) I am nice/polite on the outside and on the inside I am SCREAMING at people for being such idiots/for being so slow/for being so dumb/for having so many screaming kids that are acting insane. Passive aggressive dick-style.
3. Not refilling the ice trays after using all the ice except for one cube. Total dick move.
4. Drive my car until it’s on “E” knowing that when Ryan gets in the car to go somewhere and it’s running on fumes he will fill it up. Especially when it’s really cold. What a dick!
5. Put back items in a store in the wrong place because I am too lazy to take them back where they belong. I am ashamed to say I did this earlier today, in fact. Someone once told me that this practice is acceptable because it is job security for the people who have to put incorrectly placed items back. That person was probably a dick too.
6. Put my ice cold feet under Ryan’s legs/back when I need to warm them up in bed. He says nothing; but if he did it to me I would be pissed. Why yes, I am a dick; thanks for asking.