jMcJohnson

The AARP says I’m retired! Yippee! I thought last week felt long, apparently it took about thirty years.

See you at bingo!

Last week I flew to Florida. It was warm and fun and a nice break from work, etc., but all I was really thinking about in the days leading up to the trip is how much I dread flying.

I’m not 100% sure that anyone really knows how neurotic I am about it because I really try to hide it, but I am. The days before I fly are borderline torturous. I have to go through several awful scenarios including (but not limited to) the feelings I will cycle through as my plane falls from the sky, the fear I will feel as I see a wing fall off the plane, and the horrible claustrophobic feeling that comes along with knowing I’m trapped in a flying metal tube breathing strangers’ recycled air (thanks for telling me that like, 10 years ago, Jon.)

I have never not flown because of fear, but it does make the trip more difficult. I have several religious articles I bring along with me on every flight (none directly pertaining to my actual religion.) I have certain rituals that must be followed-I MUST read SkyMall during takeoff and landing, and I have a special “this isn’t happening” song I sing to myself when we hit turbulence. I also have some positive affirmations that help. Mainly, they are something like “You’re on a plane, just like a million other people today. Don’t be a f*%$ing idiot.”

Usually (this is really twisted) I feel a bit more buoyant if there is a minor air mishap in the days before I leave-I mean really, what are the chances of two bad things happening in a few days? But, ultimately, I look to the flight attendants to gauge my mood. After any particularly scary dips or turns of the plane, I look at them. Do they look frightened? No. They never do. So, I feel like, hey, they’re the experts. They’ve seen it all. If they’re not scared, I shouldn’t be either.

Mostly though, I try to focus on the good parts: the free soda, the nuts, and the magazines. And getting where you’re going. There’s really nothing better than walking off the plane after experiencing what basically amounts to a three hour slow-release panic attack and thinking “Yeah, I just arrived. And I FLEW here muthas! Deal with THAT.” That’s pretty good, too.

1. From a list of “Healthy and Tasty” recipes I found:

Cheeseburger And Fries Casserole
Ingerdients:
Lean ground beef
cheddar cheese soup
golden mushroom soup
Ore-Ida Golden Crinkles

Directions:
Mix soup and cooked hamburger. Spoon into a baking dish. Spread fries on top. Bake at 325 for 25 minutes.

Does this sound healthy and/or tasty?
(ps-I already bought the ingredients)

2. What should I make first with my new sewing machine?
(my skills are still somewhat-ahem-limited)

3.What book should I read next?
(nothing about global warming, please)

4.What should I do before I turn thirty?
(be creative, please)

Thank you for your assistance.

our Christmas tree is still up.

Why do you ask?

Also, check out Lily Allen: www.lilyallenmusic.com

I really enjoy her music. You might too.

While Ryan was out of town this weekend, I saw five movies. Let’s recap:

Friday night: “Junebug”
Indie movie with underdeveloped characters, weird sex scenes, and lots of modern “art.” If you are pretentious, or fancy yourself pretentious, you’d probably say you liked it, when actually, you secretly thought it was bad. Two thumbs down.

“Breakdown”
Late 90’s action movie starring Kurt Russell. This was on TBS at three in the morning. This is my kind of movie. Poor dialogue, weird plot, car chases, explosions, etc. Two thumbs up.

Saturday: “Capote”
Phillip Seymour Hoffman was great, he really disappeared into the character. The main idea of the movie (as far as I could tell) was Truman Capote was a selfish, drunk asshole. The crime aspect of the movie was really gross and disturbing. Two thumbs sideways.

“Little Miss Sunshine”
Totally awesome. I laughed. A ton. Everyone on earth who had already seen this movie (pretty much everyone) was right. It ruled. Two giant thumbs up.

“Wimbledon”
Again, this was on TBS at like, two am. Although I DESPISE Kirsten Dunst (and true to form, she stunk in this movie) I actually liked it. I was going to watch five minutes of it, and I ended up watching it until four. A decent chick movie to rent, if you are so inclined. One thumb up (for the movie), one thumb down (for KD)

No work next Monday, Ryan got back from FL today, and we have “Big Trouble in Little China” rented for later this week…life is good.

When Ryan gets bored he teaches himself how to play the bass and then plays it well enough to be invited to play bass in a band.
(www.kristiestremel.com)

When I get bored I usually take a nap.

*Note*
While the bass looks pinkish in this photo, I assure you it is a manly blue.

The floor this morning, 12:06 am.

Last night we were talking about New Year’s resolutions, and I decided that since there are really so many things I would like to improve about myself and my life I would just make one.

Follow through.

I have many great intentions, plans, schemes, etc; but my follow-through is really quite lacking at times. So I’m going to work on that in pretty much every aspect of my life.

That, and I think I’ll start going tanning.

Happy new year to all.