jMcJohnson

18 years. 18 long years of heartache. 18 years of saying “There is always next year”.

On Friday night, next year happened.

The last time I had felt the complete joy of a championship I was nine years old. I remember Danny and the Miracles winning the Final Four as I jumped around my Grandma’s house in my Jayhawk pajamas. The sound of Kemper Arena on the television as the fans waved the wheat and the Hawks cut down the nets. Amazing. It was a moment in time that will live with me forever.

And over the next two decades I would come so close to feeling that joy again. In fact, I would come so close so many times that I had almost given up on ever feeling that feeling again. Here is the unbelievable (abridged) list of heartache and failure from my four favorite teams since that day in April of 1988:

1991: Jayhawks lose to Duke in the National Championship
1993: Chiefs lose to the Bills in the AFC Championship Game
Jayhawks lose to North Carolina in the National Semifinal
1995: Chiefs lose to the Colts in the AFC Semifinal
1996: Cardinals lose to Braves in the NLCS after being ahead 3-1
1997: The greatest Jayhawk team I have ever seen loses to Arizona in the Sweet 16
Chiefs lose to the Broncos at Arrowhead after Marty starts Grbac. I’m still pissed about this game.
2000: Cardinals lose to the Mets in the NLCS. Rick Ankiel shits down his leg.
2001: Cardinals lose to the Diamondbacks in the NLDS
2002: Jayhawks lose to Maryland in the National Semifinal
Cardinals lose to the Giants in the NLCS
2003: Jayhawks lose to Syracuse in the National Championship after Collison shits down his leg at the free-throw line
Chiefs lose to the Colts after not being able to stop them ONCE on defense
2004: Jayhawks lose in the first round of the tournament to Bucknell
Cardinals swept by the Red Sox in the World Series
2005: Jayhawks lose in the first round of the tournament to Bradley
Chiefs go 10-6 and still don’t make the playoffs
Cardinals lose to the Astros in the NLCS
1986-present: The Royals suck

So as you can see, my teams have broken my heart many times since 1988. But something unbelievable happened this October. Something I can’t explain. Something wonderful.

My team won. Finally, my team won.

And just like that Kansas team of 1988, they weren’t supposed to win. This team had the worst record of any team to ever win the World Series. This team had two seven game losing streaks during the season. This team won the division championship on a day when they lost the game they were playing. They were not supposed to win.

But they did.

My only explanation is sometime before the first round of the playoffs Tony LaRussa got a hold of Larry Brown and racked his brain. David Eckstein called Mark Turgeon and asked what it meant to lead a underdog to a championship. And Albert Pujols begged Danny Manning for a little bit of his magic.

Danny and the Miracles meet Albert and the Overachievers.

The St. Louis Cardinals. 2006 World Series Champions. That has a nice ring to it.

But a sports fans’ work is never done. So just as I did in 1988 I will celebrate this championship a ton, but come Sunday my Chiefs gear will be on and I will be ready to yell at the T.V. with all of my heart. And once the Jayhawks take the court, the crimson and blue will be on my back as I chant Rock Chalk with every win. This is what makes being a fan fun. There is always next season.

But next year everyday of the 2007 baseball season will be spent cheering for a champion. GO CARDINALS!

We spent a good part of yesterday beginning phrases with these words: “Remember a year ago today when…” Pumpkins, hurricanes, lanterns, beautiful flowers, beautiful dresses, laughter, tears, delicious cupcakes, ho ho cake, family, friends and LOTS of love. It is one of the most fun weddings I have ever attended and the beginning of the beautiful life that Sam and Misty now share. Happy anniversary guys. Here’s to many more!

The small yard in front of our building always has a more than normal amount of dog crap in it. It’s because our weird-ass neighbors just blatantly let their dog crap in our yard. That is not OK. A week or so ago the weird guy half of our neighbors had the dog outside wandering around (off his leash) as I pulled up to the building. I thought to myself “Oh hell no. This jerk is not gong to let the dog crap in my yard in front of me.” Except that HE TOTALLY DID. Suddenly I am staring at his flea-bag mutt squatting right by my mailbox and squeezing out a fudge monkey. I get out of the car and make eye contact with the neighbor and he just looks at me. Clearly, I have seen what his dog has done. Clearly I have to take action. However, because I am SO BAD at confrontation, what do I say? “Hi.” I just squeeze out a pathetic”hi.”

Hi? That’s all I can think of to say is “hi?”

He didn’t say a word. What a dick! The same scene repeated itself tonight, but with the female half of the weird neighbors. I was all ready to confront her, but it was too dark and I could not confirm that poop had actually happened. Why do people do that? They have a yard. They probably don’t want to step in shit. I don’t blame them. I don’t like it either. How can I make this stop?

All I could think of is leaving grocery bags by my front door and as it happens, pick it up and put it in their yard. What do you think?

From another blog I read occasionally. I liked this quote so much, I decided to re-post it.

“Suffering is not holding you. You are holding suffering. When you
become good at the art of letting sufferings go, then you’ll come to
realize how unnecessary it was for you to drag those burdens around with
you. You’ll see that no one else other than you was responsible. The truth
is that existence wants your life to become a festival.”

-Osho

This guy was a bit…controversial in his beliefs, but I think this quote is still quite resonant. I have been facing some personal situations that have made this seem all the more true. I am so tired of all this inward thinking, this incurable navel-gazing that grips you and makes everything seem so profound when, in reality, you just need to take responsibility for yourself and your actions, and the fact that you create your life.

All of it. Every situation, you have created and fostered an environment that it can grow and exist in. This is easy to believe when things are going well and hard to take when things are going badly. The natural desire is to blame, to point a finger, to lash out in typical three year-old style…but all of that anger and fear can be traced back to the source-and that source is yourself.

I’m going to try to keep this in mind as my life unfolds over the next few weeks.

I have read so much on the internet over the last few months about these noodles that I had to find and try them. Tofu Shirataki Noodles are made out of tofu and yam flour (yum!) They are healthy, look like regular pasta, and come packed in liquid. What makes them truly amazing is that there are a measly 40 calories in the entire bag. That’s right, the whole bag (probably a cup and a half of noodles) is 40 freakin’ calories. Plus they are all natural and claim to sub as pasta in any noodle based recipe. This is too good to be true, right?

Right!

The first thing I noticed when I opened the bag to drain them is the rancid smell of the liquid they are packed in. Literally, it smelled like dirty-fish-sweatsock-bathwater. I had to quickly come to terms with the fact that I was going to ingest something that was soaking in this putrid juice. I got over it (for the sake of “Try It Thursday”. I mean, “Almost Tried It Thursday” just sounds stupid) and rinsed the holy hell out of the noodles in a colander. They smelled not as bad after being rinsed, and looked noodl-y enough, so I proceeded.

Following package directions, I nuked them for a minute, drained them, then added my desired topping, which was Laughing Cow cheese and parmesan, making a tasty alfredo (via hungrygirl.com) then nuked them again for 30 seconds. I stirred. I added more parmesan. I got a fork, and took a bite. The sauce was good, cheesy and gooey, not bad for a low-fat sauce. The noodles were…okay. They were rubbery, no doubt, but for 40 calories, they weren’t horrible. Then as I was about to take my second bite, I caught a whiff of the fish-sockwater odor I had smelled before. Just a whiff. That was it. I was done.

The verdict? That water is too disturbing for words. My flashbacks of it prevented me from enjoying my noodles. I have another bag in the fridge. I may see if the cat will eat them.

Packaging: Japanese, Intriguing
Price: Cheap ($1.52 at Wild Oats)
Texture: Rubbery, Rather Weird
Taste: Moderately Foul
Overall: Hell No

Great Taste/More Rocking

…and stole Ryan’s heart.

When either JPP gets signed to Warner Brothers or I find a big bag full of 100 dollar bills, I am going to move back to Salina. Once I’m there, I ‘m going to start a tabloid website-sort of a Pink Is The New Blog or PopSugar for Salina. I’ll hire some amateur photographers (maybe high school students?) and disperse them throughout Salina to photograph its “celebrities.” Like the mayor, high school principals, Community Theatre actors, people who frequent bars, etc. Then, I’ll report on awesome Salina fashion, who got who pregnant, who’s getting fat/is anorexic, and who potentially has gotten a boob job. Businesses can advertise on the site, and I think it could draw national attention, just like any reality project, as I’m sure that if you check it every day, you’ll see some repeat offenders.

Hopefully, no one steals my idea before the band gets signed/I find the money…keep your fingers crossed.

This looks funny.
Apple - Trailers - Borat - Trailer G