jMcJohnson

Five years ago today two “soulmates sent from heaven” gave love a chance.

I’m glad they did.

I know they are too.

If you know Ryan, you know that he has had a red Dodge Neon for the last seven years.

Sorry to break the news, but if you never got to say goodbye to it, it’s too late. It is gone. Sold. Now we have this:

A 1994 Toyota 4-Runner. It gets about 9 miles per gallon. But damn, it’s pretty boss.

Come visit. We’ll take you for a ride.

In opposition to our last apartment (which had a very open floor plan) our new apartment is very segmented. This, along with the constantly running ceiling fans has created somewhat of a vortex which seems to cut off sound from room to room. Due to these circumstances, new legislation has just been passed in our apartment that states: “No one person shall address another person when said person is in another room, thus causing them to reply with the uber-annoyed sounding ‘huh?’ or ‘what?’”

It passed overwhelmingly 2-0.

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Is it wrong?:

To attempt to drink a large amount of beer in the hopes that is may have a laxative effect?

To watch part of the old Cheetah Girls movie while babysitting and enjoy it enough that you TiVo the new Cheetah Girls movie (premiering tonight) when you get home? (ps-you are 29 when this happens)

To drive 15+ miles to eat Mexican food at the best Mexican restaurant ever TWICE in one week? (El Maguey has restaurants in KC. If you are from St. Louis, you know what this means)

To cross your legs while sitting on the toilet? (If you’re pretty sure you’re gonna be there a while)

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Ryan and I sat side by side on the couch and ate Chinese food last night and since we shared an entree, we only got one fortune cookie. I made a very big deal about how whatever the fortune said was true for both of us…it read:

“Stop searching forever, happiness is just next to you.” (in bed)

That warmed my heart with its profound truth.

I had sent out a total of three (3) resumes since we had moved to KC. I wan’t even sure I wanted to start working that soon, but as all you job-seekers know, sometimes it takes a really long time to find anything, let alone something you may squeeze a modicum of enjoyment out of. In fact, I was sort of looking forward to those days of alternately watching game shows and crying because in another month without jobs we’ll be broke. That is my typical cycle after we move.

So, I applied to this youth arts nonprofit. They basically book all kinds of arts programs in schools and have a community school where they teach multi-disciplinary classes on Saturdays and after school (yes, I just used “school” three times in one sentence). There’s more to it than that, but basically that’s the gist. My function within this organization is to be in charge of enrollment, be the first contact for the parents, and try to assist in promoting the programs. It’s actually drawing a lot on what I learned doing some program director stuff for Lovewell.

After my interview, they told me point-blank something I’ve never heard before: “You are overqualified for this job. Your resume is really impressive. We like you and really want to work with you.” Not to brag (for most people my resume is not that impressive) but that was kind of awesome. Since there is an element of “receptionist” to this job, they gave me the whole rundown about how this was the position they had open right now, but that there was a lot of room for growth there, etc. I would get to be a part of staff meetings, give program inout, we would split phone duties, etc. I told them honestly that this job seemed ok, but that it was really not something I could see myself doing in the long term. I had to be creative. That element had to factor into whatever I did, forever. Then they asked about what I was really interested in and Lovewell. I told them. They said maybe we could partner up and I could do some teaching in the immediate future. I said ok. They said hang in for a while and make this job what you want it to be. It would ultimately be whatever I wanted it to. That sounded…great. The people are awesome, the pay is reasonable, the benefits are amazing, my schedule is even pretty flexible.

It’s cool. I feel pretty good about it. It was the first time I ever went to an interview and was honest from the get-go. I asked for what I wanted, not just took what they offered and pretended it was perfect. And at this job, I am different. I am not slacking just because I don’t love what I’m doing. I see this big picture, and the better I do in this position, the faster I can create my own position. I don’t get up 15 minutes before I have to leave for work. I dress like I have the job I want, not like a homeless person who wandered in.

It’s uncharted territory for me…and the more I commit myself to it, the more things fall into place, even after four days.

I suspect this is more of that “growing up” shit I keep hearing so much about.

So. Tired.

Drank booze all weekend.

Began new job TUESDAY.

Person who had my job before me left me a warm stack of SHIT SANDWICHES.

Completing what is best described as a four day booze/custard/cheese hangover.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz….

Cheese curds, fireworks, Tato Skins, RedHeaded Slut shots, wedding cookies, a hotel room that smelled like feet in a punchbowl, corn rashes, the two mile walk to and from the bar, Mary-oke, Dinosaur farts, ultimate frisbee, Culver’s (three times), Twin Beef, breakfast buffet, and I’m pretty sure there’s not a SINGLE BEER left in Spring Green, Wisconsin.

After four days of total DEBAUCHERY, Dave had the right idea.

by Ryan McCall

Have you ever seen a concert through a chain-linked fence? Neither had I until last Saturday night. When I think of a band playing behind a fence I think about the Blues Brothers playing at the country bar performing their rendition of “Rawhide” and then splitting out the back with the cash. I think about a really bad death-metal group who’s act consists of biting the heads off of live lizards. I think about a concert at a State Fair.

And I certainly would never think about a James Taylor concert right?

Well, I would if that James Taylor concert was happening at a State Fair. That’s right. James Taylor played in the middle of a dirt race track in Sedalia, MO on Aug. 12th with his full eight piece band (which included a violinist who also sang backups who was supurb) and some really weird people in the grandstand.

Jamie and I arrived in Sedalia around 2:00 p.m. and it was already 93 degrees. What the hell is up with all this heat? I’m not asking any of you that. I am just reciting the question most frequently asked at the Missouri State Fair. People in the Midwest like to talk about the weather, especially if it’s really hot and it hasn’t rained in a while. It’s like they make their living off of the earth or something.

Anyway, Jamie and I had great plans to go watch the pig racing contest and see the buttered cow. There was a fiddle playing contest and a bad cover band playing a really bad version of “Takin’ Care of Business” (which just so happens to be my wife’s least favorite song in the entire world. This version though was especially bad considering the lead singer was a fifty-five year old man in a cowboy hat playing congos. Have you ever heard a version of that BTO classic with congos? Only at the Missouri State Fair does something with that much rock happen.). As you can clearly see we had set our sights high.

The highlights of our day included: a beeswax plate of the Lord’s Supper,

a horse with a boner, two lemonades, a funnel cake, at least five hundred mullets and (surprisingly enough) a lot of people wearing stickers that read “Had Enough? Vote Democrat” Of course I found one and wore it all day on my James Taylor ’94 tour shirt.

Finally after roasting in the Missouri heat it was time to enter the Grandstand. Jamie and I had pretty good seats center stage back about 80 yards. The problem wasn’t that we were sitting on metal benches or that there was a fence about 40 feet in front of us (we could see over it thank god or I would have been really pissed) it was the fact that right as the concert was about to begin two drunk women, who had probably been drinking since 11:30 a.m. (and if I were a resident of Sedalia, Missouri and this was the thing I looked forward to every year I would do the same thing) sat right behind us. These devil women talked through the first five songs until I finally turned around and very politely asked them to SHUT THE “F” UP!!!!!!! Why in the world do you come to a James Taylor concert and talk through “SWEET BABY F-IN JAMES!?!”

Anyway, after I asked them to be quiet they actually got up and left the section. I don’t know why. Maybe it was because everyone within ten feet of them wanted to see them stoned to death with corndogs.

Now on to the concert. The set list was as follows:

Set One:
Something in the Way She Moves (I called this three days before the show)
October Road
The Water Is Wide
Celtic Fiddle Interlude (Jamie titled this one. It was basically a fiddle/percussion jam)
Sweet Baby James
Copperline
Family Man (a tune I had never heard and is not on any of his albums)
Handy Man
Fire and rain
Mexico

Set Two:
Caroline I See You (he signed autographs as the band vamped the beginning)
Why Baby Why (a song by George Jones that James signs with him on his latest album)
Oh What a Beautiful Mornin’ (from “Oklahoma”)
Chili Dog (I also called this as one of my three dark horses: the other two were “Gorilla”
and “Knocking Round the Zoo”)
Up On the Roof
Your Smiling Face
Carolina in My Mind
Shower the People
How Sweet It Is (with a gospel reprise of the same tune right after the applause)

Encores:
You’ve Got A Friend
Steamroller

I read later that there was a third encore scheduled but the stupid people at the Fair started the fireworks display after the show to early. He was going to play “You Can Close Your Eyes” just him and his guitar.

All in all it was a very mellow show. Jamie and I both think he might have been a little under the weather at the beginning but once he got going he seemed right on. I really thought he would play more than 21 songs.

What am I doing? Am I really complaining about seeing JT? Maybe it was all the heat during the day frying my brain. I’m for sure it wasn’t the corn dogs. They were really good.

Ahh, the subtlety of the midwest…

We are in KC! Our new home! Each thing I see or touch is more awesome than the next. I will post pics of our amazing neighborhood and rockin apartment. Soon. When the people come with the truck and the cords and I am technologically complete again.

Miss everyone.

Will see some of you soon!