jMcJohnson

The best part of a rather boring State of the Union speech tonight was Bush taking a stand against “both human cloning, and human/animal hybrids.”

WE CAN MAKE HUMAN/ANIMAL HYBRIDS?!?!

AND WE’RE AGAINST IT?!

WTF?!?

that since Ryan is out of town I’d have all kinds of time to post an entry about something, but you’d be wrong.

Life is busy as hell right now, and I have to stop putting everything off and just DO some of this shit that needs to be done.

So that’s what I’m doing.

Be back soon!

Here’s a picture for you to enjoy in the absence of an interesting post:

Today I Chi’d my hair for the first time, and the results were…
AMAZING!
I’d post a picture but that seems a bit vain, just trust me, my hair is just as straight as it would be after a salon blowout. It was well worth the money, and after like, five uses, it will have paid for itself.

In other news, something (work related) I was hoping would happen someday is happening now…and in true me fashion, now that I have what I want, I need to just freak out about it and think that I can’t do it…but I will!

I’ll write more about it later, after I have completed the task, it’s really not a big deal in the grand scheme of life, but ot me, it’s a good first step.

Have a good weekend!

ps-if you’re in Chicago Sunday thru Tuesday call Ryan! He’ll be there for work stuff and is ready to see all his favorite people and restaurants…wish i was going too
also, early birthday wishes to LFG…I’m pretty sure he’s too cool to read my blog, but i love him anyway…if you see him, give him a zerbert for me!

Sometimes being married is hard.

You don’t feel like taking out the trash and it’s smelled for a whole day already and it’s clear that if you don’t take it out no one else is going to. Sometimes there’s little facial hairs all over the sink basin and you just cleaned it that morning. Sometimes, while folding laundry, you begin to resent the boxer shorts. You imagine yourself folding them over and over for the next fifty years, and for a second it’s hard to breathe. Sometimes the sheer number of professional sporting events that are televised within a year becomes overwhelming, as is the number of beers you imagine your spouse will drink within said year. Sometimes the car won’t start and it’s all their fault. Sometimes nothing they say will be right, because they are not mind readers. Sometimes there’s never enough money and they work too much already and why can’t we just go see a movie once in a while? Sometimes you wonder where you’d be if you never had gotten married and sometimes that thought is both inspiring and terrifying. Sometimes you wonder if you’ll ever be grown up enough to have kids. Sometimes your feelings get hurt. Sometimes you say things to intentionally hurt them. Sometimes the wires get crossed.

Sometimes being married is easy.

Sometimes you come home after a long trip and there are a dozen roses and a clean house waiting for you. Sometimes you don’t have to make the bed for a whole week. Sometimes you drive cross-country and get to see the Grand Canyon and play a slot machine for the first time ever, together. Sometimes your burned cooking is called “delicious” after multiple servings. Sometimes you get the perfect card for no reason. Sometimes you crave ice cream and someone goes to get it for you even though the game is on and it’s freezing cold outside. Sometimes someone thinks you’re beautiful even though you have snot running out of your nose (and they’ll let you wipe it on their sleeve.) Sometimes you’re glad to argue-because afterward, you know yourself a little better. Sometimes it feels good to push and be pushed back.

And once in a while you still get tucked in at night, and regardless of what happened during the day, you can’t imagine things ever being hard again.

Separated at birth?

DSL at casa de McJohnson is back in effect. Mad shout outs to my homies at Covad and BellSouth (who only woke me up at 8 am on Saturday once) and informed me that all repairs would be made with no charge to us. Sweetness.

Needless to say, lots of adventures have ben embarked upon in the last week, all of which remain unblogged. Since I’m sure all five of my readers ( hi Mom!) are DYING to know what exactly I have been up to, here are some highlights:

1. Paid to see “Brokeback Mountain” and stayed for the unadvertised “double feature” (it’s great, you see a movie and then take off your glasses or sweater or something and walk to the other side of the multi-plex and see something else FOR FREE. You probably don’t HAVE to remove an article of clothing to disguise yourself, but I say, why not?) The double feature for Saturday evening was “Match Point.” That movie was a turd. It was just…very turdy. I couldn’t be mad though, as it was free. Such is the way of the double feature.

Also, “Brokeback” was amazing. Except for Anne Hathaway playing 40 (that blonde wig? bitch, please) and Jake Gyllenhal’s porno mustache, I thought it was a home run.

2. I have a serious Jelly Belly problem. We found a SuperTarget that has an ENTIRE aisle devoted to this delicious treat. Cappucino? Cinnamon Toast? Sour Cherry? They sell them by the pound, so I had to buy a WHOLE pound, and (almost) cousumed them all. I’ve eaten them all weekend long. They have changed my life. And my pants size.

NOTE: After my post last week about food and now this new Jelly Belly information, please do not be concerned about my eating habits. They are pretty good. I just like to fantasize about food. Speaking of fantasies…

3. HGTV is like my own personal porn channel. I love houses. I love to watch people buy houses. I love to watch people paint crown molding. I have HOUSE FEVER and the only cure is buying a house…which I won’t be doing anytime soon. Sigh. So instead I watch other people do it. I recommend “Flip That House” and “House Hunters” (with Suzanne Whang, the unfortunately named hostess) Watch as people seek more closet space! Observe them making decisions about whether the carpet should stay or go! Enjoy them buying an overpriced house that is near a highway (suckers!) I have learned a lot from these shows, and I hope to put this knowledge to use in oh, say the next ten years.

4. I ordered the CHI! I will keep you posted on the results when it arrives.
I predict my hair forecast to be sexy with a 60% chance of hotness.

Tomorrow I will be enjoying an ENTIRE day with my man…his first full day off in like, three weeks. Yay!

P.S.-Hank, When you return to the U.S., we will have a donut eating contest/festival…that’s democracy in action!

I give you Osama Bin Pineapple!

(Osama Bin Pumpkin’s cousin from Florida)

Still no internet at home.

I was thinking today about how much I love food and how when I find something I REALLY like, I have to stop myself from wanting to eat it until I feel sick. Don’t get me wrong, I very rarely eat as much of something as I could. The example I always use is Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I always say I could eat a dozen in less than an hour. Probably in like a half an hour. Everyone always freaks out when I say that, but I really think it’s true. Keep in mind, I have never tested this theory, but I’m pretty confident I could do it.

Today we had cupcakes for a birthday during a rehearsal (the grocery store kind-vanilla with multi-colored whipped lard icing) and I, like a regular human, ate one. After I finished, I thought to myself, “I could eat another one of those.” I then thought to myself, “How many of these could I realistically eat in one sitting?” I came up with a number. That number was six.

Maybe that’s crazy…or maybe you know what I’m talking about. Here’s a list of stuff I really love to eat, and how much I THINK I could eat of it at one sitting:

Krispy Kreme (glazed, warm)……12
Frosted Cupcakes………….6
Chicken Salad from Whole Foods……1/2lb.
Port Wine Spreadable Cheese Ball…………1/2 ball
Jamba Juice Mango Mantra smoothie……….two large ones
Chips & Salsa from La Casita……………two bags of chips w/a pint of salsa

Whoa. Writing it down makes it seem really disturbing. Please remember I would most likely not, under normal circumstances actually eat these things in said quantities, but when I go to my special quiet place, I really think it would be possible for me to do so. What can I say? I heart food.

Has anyone else ever thought about this?

As of Friday, our DSL is MIA.

I am posting this from Carrie & Joe’s, as I bask in their warm wireless glow.

Our internet provider is sending us a new modem, but if that doesn’t work they may have to “send out a technician at your (our) expense.” Umm, what?

Please pray for our modem.

And world peace.

One-Eyed Cat Had Medical Condition - Yahoo! News

Dear Lord!